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Youngsters of all ages are bullied and abused through taunting, teasing, threats and even physical abuse in schools across the country. Unfortunately, there are many kids out there who have been told and taught that bullying and peer abuse is just “a part of life” and they gotta learn to deal with it. This is very unfortunate for several reasons. First of all of course is the mere fact that they’re going through this and not receiving the care and support that’s needed. Secondly, they’re likely to start believing that violence and the mistreatments of others is ok or even the right way to handle things. Adults don’t realize they’re instating such negative beliefs in the youngster impressionable mind.
It’s not just the kid being bullied that suffers. Those around them are put into an environment that is far from ideal for learning. Families and friends are affected whether they realize it or not and eventually the child may grow up with a whole slew of ideas on life that have negative impacts on them and everyone they come into contact with.
How do you define bullying?
Bullying and peer abuse is often described as repeated harmful actions toward another that are intentional. It does not have to be physical actions, though. It can also be words (calling names, shunning them away or threatening them) or other non-physical acts. There exists an invisible barrier that makes the one being bullied feel somehow inferior to the bully – the bully ultimately has a false sense of power over of them, but they it’s as real as ever to them.
Types of bullying that commonly take place are the following:
- Punching, pulling hair, biting, poking, beating or even unwanted, excessive tickling
- Humiliation, rejection or isolation, extortion, blackmailing, peer pressure or terrorizing them emotionally in other ways. This often also can include giving scores or ratings regarding their ethnicity, a disability, their race or even their perceived sexual orientation
- One area that isn’t as often talked about is sexual bullying. In this case, they may be propositioning them in a sexual manner, harassing them sexually, voyeurism, exhibitionism and yes – even sexual assault/abuse.
Bullying activity is actually quite high among children in school the United States. You may be surprised to learn that a lot goes in even in the smaller towns where you wouldn’t think it would happen as much. Almost 90 percent of kids in high school and junior high in the smaller towns of the Midwest say they’ve personally seen bullying take place. Almost 80 percent of them have been the victim themselves. Out of the group who said they had been the victim, 14 percent of them acknowledged that their reactions to the bullying were ‘severe’.
It happens with younger kids, too. As much as we would love for young kids to be accepting of and even learn from the other kids around them as they intake new things and their personality is molded, there are many young kids who do just the opposite. A study was done in the south with 6,500 kids who were in grades fourth through sixth. They were asked questions about bullying that would apply to the three months leading up to the survey. ¼ of them said they’d been bullied somewhat regularly and 1/10 of them had been bullied extremely often at an average of once per week. Almost 1/5 admitted to having been the bully before on a somewhat regular basis in those same three months.
Fostered bullying
It’s sad to think that some forms of bullying are not only allowed, but encouraged. This is common among sports teams and other types of groups. Although it’s not normally labeled as bullying, it’s exactly what it is. It’s normally referred to as something like ‘hazing’ or ‘initiation rites’.
What can this abuse lead to?
The effects of bullying and peer abuse aren’t limited strictly to physical harm. This is especially true when the bullying goes unnoticed and continues on a regular basis. The victim then begins to become paralyzed with fear and feel completely lost in world that no one understands. Some of the things that can result from bullying are:
- A drop in grades since their attention isn’t likely to be focused on learning anymore, but on fear.
- Once they become wrapped up in fear, then it’s not uncommon for them to fear even going to school. It’s for this reason that they may start to skip school or even drop out.
- They may have a hard time developing good self-esteem and if they already had, then they can quickly lose it. Victims are often left feeling neglected and isolated, which leads to depression and withdrawing from other people and activities they may have once enjoyed.
- Victims can easily start being afraid to take any risks that are common and needed in life, including vocational, social or emotional risks that play such a vital role in becoming a well-rounded adult.
- They may eventually decide to fight back. This can lead to a dangerous outburst at the original bully, bringing weapons into the equation or even suicide.
- Victims of bullying are commonly insecure, lack self-esteem and have signs of depression.
Remember though, that a child does not have to be the victim to be affected by bullying. They often end up feeling guilty because they failed to do anything to help the victim – as much as they may have wanted to. A bystander will commonly be afraid to do anything for several reasons, such as retaliation from the bully, lowering the status of their social life and popularity or suffering negative social effects like being the “snitch”.
